On The Road To Recovery!

After I posted my very first entry something terrible happened. A wave of misfortune came tumbling down on me. I was slammed with more than one thing at once and it really took it's toll on me. You know how it is, everything happens at the same time. It's not enough that one or two things are going wrong. Several things have to go wrong at once! But, that's the way of life I guess and somehow we all have to deal with it and get passed it. We need to put our reserves to the test and push forward!

Of course, there are times when things become a bit too much and this time I wasn't able to get passed what was going on. I buckled under the stress. It was awful. I felt as though I had nowhere to turn, nothing that I could do but fall apart. I had a mild nervous breakdown. I went to the Urgent Care and was seen by a doctor. He immediately knew what was wrong. What gave it away? The way I kept wringing my hands. He noticed that I was nervous. I was shocked. At first I had no idea how he had realized I was nervous. I was in total disbelief. Then he mentioned my hands. Was I that easy to read? I felt embarrassed. I didn't know what to say.

In the end he gave me something for my anxiousness. Once at home I took my medicine and vowed not to have that happen again. I didn't want to feel so out of control again. Well, that was easier said than done. For a while things got much better. I was a much calmer person. Unfortunately, the meds ran out and to this day I haven't been able to get more. Financial reasons.

As the pressure began to mount again I became increasingly worried. Still I pushed on though. I wasn't going to let it beat me! I needed to try to find ways to help calm me and keep calm. I needed to teach myself some good stress busting techniques. I needed to use what I already knew helped and to incorporate some new things as well. I knew that scents calmed me and showering was therapeutic somehow. I also knew that taking deep breaths and playing music helped. Being around Nature also had a very good calming effect. Ok, so I had a few things that would help. I needed to pull all of those together if I were to improve my situation.

I started by taking deep breathes whenever I felt out of control, taking my time in the shower, using perfumes, scented creams and candles, playing different types of music I liked more often, and just a couple of days ago I visited a national park taking in the beautiful scenery. I'm on the road to recovery! I know that this is a huge learning process and I can't fix things right away. This is going to take time and I need to keep things up! For now I think I've done well.